Wednesday 6th January 2016

8am – F*ck up clinic

Slept marginally better last night but so fed up of waking up constantly, tossing and turning. T was on nights so I didn’t have to worry about waking her up, which I think helped.

Tomorrow morning I will have my first follow-up clinic appointment since I’ve been discharged from hospital. On the letter it says calls it a ‘F-UP clinic’, which may or may not be apt. I had thought that I was guaranteed to receive my next dose of Infliximab but it seems like Dr. S wants to discuss this with me at clinic.

Not sure what his thinking is, as this was all relayed to me by my IBD nurse. I told her on Monday that my symptoms were much better but that I had a delayed hypersensitive reaction on Christmas Day. Perhaps she mentioned the latter point to Dr. S and he’s cautious about giving me another dose unless its absolutely needed.

I think what I’ll do today is to research the treatment success rates after one and two doses respectively, so that I am better informed about the likelihood of my current lull in symptoms being sustained for long enough to be deemed remission. But what does remission even mean? I am concerned that once the drug wears off, my bleeding will return.

Luckily (arguably), I have been signed off work for three weeks so I feel that I can get sufficient rest and relaxation. It has also come at a convenient time because we are having to go reception venue hunting again because the London Welsh Centre are being very pernickety on some key points. It’s a bit cheeky to try and squeeze this in on sick leave, but I definitely wouldn’t be able to manage all this while at school.

T will be sleeping for much of the day today, so I have the whole day to do medical research and a light spot of wedding planning. I am not sure whether I want to give school the go-ahead to give me planning/pupil progress stuff to work on at home as it will make me a bit more anxious, but I would like to do something to lighten the workload when I’m back at school.

“If you’re a better teacher, you’re better off spending your time teaching”

I wonder how my year leader is getting on. She has been unwell but continues to battle through. I know that she relied on me for picking up the slack last term, so I wonder how she’s managing with V as her number 2…

Perhaps I shouldn’t worry so much. I read something online today about ‘top tips to reduce your workload’ (aimed at teachers). One point that really resonated with me was to not spend so much time re-working other people’s plans or making resources from scratch because what I’m given isn’t up to my standards. The author said “If you’re a better teacher, you’re better of spending your time teaching.” So when I return to school I am going to use my energy (note: not time) teaching rather than on the paperwork which is barely scrutinised.

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